I, Frankenstein? No, You Frankenstein!... Review!

Glib reviews of Recent DVD/Blu ray releases.

- Directed By Stuart Beattie

I, Frankenstein is just as ridiculous as you imagine it might be, perhaps even more ridiculous. What works is that the pace is whiz bang. History, of the Monster and his creator Victor, a few minutes of narration and montage, and then, Bam we are into gargoyle half Angels and Demons slicing each other up and either ‘ascending’ (Gargoyles) or ‘Descending” each other to Heaven or Hell. Aaron Eckhardt plays the least physically scarred Frankenstein Monster of them all. He’s also of of your least sympathetic monsters; in fact, he’s mostly a self possessed dick.

Speaking of Possession, the best thing about the movie, other than very decent CGI Demon/Gargoyle fights is Bill Nighy’s furniture chomping Prince/CEO Niberius Demon Lord. Nighy carries Eames Chairs to pick his teeth with, in this rat-a-tat paced movie. There is a nice mad scientist Lady inadvertently working for the Demons, who has a teeny spark of chemistry with the Monster that the “Queen of The Gargoyles” has named Adam.

The only people really worth cheering for are the bad guys, sadly vaguely entertaining, but completely void of character development movie. Stand around in an Alley long enough and someone will leap off a rooftop wielding a really weird blade at you.

The setup at the end is waving maniacally for there to be a sequel. There is some fun material, but no heart (ironic? maybe) in this bazillionth version of Frankenstein’s Monster to appear on screen. Some of the ideas seem like they would be better played out slowly on a Tv show, like that new Penny Dreadful, as opposed to a bunch of clunky Sci-Fi action movies. Everyone in this movie seems to work and or live in a church or a converted cathedral. Atmosphere, occasional funny quip, sure, heart, soul, sure, just like the monster, not so much. Too bad, really, it looked pretty.

5.5687 Super Emo stick fighting Frankenstein Monsters wearing  hoodies, outta 10


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