Buddha Rhubarb’s Ongoing Confidential Report: 3 Fragments from the last few weeks. Fragment: 1 Like a hamster on a wheel in a cage is how I sometimes feel in regards to those few precious issues of mine that seem to be the superglue on the bottom of my ballet shoes. Or something. I am lately given to think that my inability to firmly commit to anything bigger than a fairly menial job, or renting a small apartment has much more to do with my creative procrastinations, gender dysphoria, and lack of any real intimacy, etc… than those things themselves have any momentum/inertia. My inherent passivity and (what is called by most people who aren’t me) laziness though help keep my ambitions low. I was saying to a friend just yesterday how when I look at some new Canadian poetry published recently in magazines or anthologies, I often find much to like, and stuff I deem better than, some not as good as my own stuff. I do have some ego about it. But I still have a hard time imagining that
